The “It’s Not About You” Relationship Lesson

One of the most valuable lessons you can learn in life is to not take the actions of others personally.  Every guru from Parahamansa Yogananda to Elizabeth Clare Prophet to John De Ruiter has used this phrase  – “it’s not about you” – to help remind people that humans are fallible and not to be counted on.  Once you fall into blaming other people for all of your problems then you are falling into the blame game.

 

The problem with playing the blame game is that you often end up harming another because you are subconsciously wishing them to suffer as you do. You may even wish poverty or sickness on them or to wait for something from them. This is a fine way to curse you. The sad thing about this hall of mirrors is that very often people think they are being cursed by the bad energy from the very person they have been jealous of or badmouthing!

 

There is a lot of a power in words, so you need to be careful how you discuss and label problematic situations. The one value of criticism of others however is that often; we tend to despise in others what we dislike about ourselves. The next time you feel the urge to criticize someone, look to see if you suffer from that very same flaw and try to correct it.

 

Sometimes, we simply make erroneous judgment calls. Bad consequences often follow incorrect actions. If you don’t have enough money to pay bills, it may not be the result of karma. God is not necessary punishing you. It may simply mean that you shouldn’t have bought that expensive pair of shoes when you knew you had to pay the rent and then expect someone else to bail you out for it at the last minute.

 

If you want to improve your payback from the universe, then it is time to reconsider what you are investing in the whole matter in the first place. Are you investing pride, jealousy and ego and expecting tenderness, kindness and respect in return? Invest in those virtues that you want to multiply. Cultivate the things that you want to grow. Weed everything that does not fit in with your intentions. This also means weeding out any false expectation or greed that you may be harboring when it comes to dealing with other people.

 

The best way to show faith is to have faith in yourself and the idea that you can handle anything that comes your way on your own with guidance from your Higher Self and without recrimination or blame to others who may disappoint you.