If you suspect or know that your spouse or lover is cheating, you may feel the urge might be to confront him or her about it. However this is not necessarily a good idea. In fact, the most mature thing that you can do is simply withdraw from the situation. The cheater does not need to know how you feel about things and you do not have to upset yourself with details.
However, most people will feel a need to confront the cheater with the facts, express anger and get what their anger off their chest. Drama is almost unavoidable as it is human nature to want to know more details about the actual betrayal, why the other person is more attractive and many people also need confirmation about the hunches they were having when they suspected the person was being unfaithful.
Many psychologists and relationship experts will simply advise you to walk away as hits compounding pain that gets worse and worse.
You should also never confront the cheater unless you have evidence that it has actually happened. Have tapes, photos, records of phone calls and texts. Many people use private detectives, GPS spying devices and keylogging programs to spy on suspected cheaters. Once you have the evidence of cheating, you can then directly confront the cheater from a place of surety.
Confronting a cheater with suspicions is quite a different matter. First off, it can damage a perfectly good relationship in the event that you happen to be wrong. You can damage the trust bond that you have with each other forever. Secondly, if you begin to voice your suspicions about cheating then he or she will take measures to be more private, concealing phones and locking up computer access, which will make it even more difficult for you to catch the cheater in action.
Some people really believe in following their lover or spouse to the scene of the crime and then surprising the cheaters by walking in them. Don’t do this unless you have a couple of family members or friends with you. Many relationship experts do not advising doing this at all because it is very scarring emotionally, not so much for the cheaters, but for you. You might finally know the truth but it will really hurt.
Whenever possible you should leave a relationship at the first sign of cheating and then have the individual followed by a professional. The only circumstance under which you should not leave is if you think the two of you can somehow regain trust with each other and work it all out.